Alpha Lithos Theory Chapter 5: Popeye the Sailor Man AKA I'm on a Boat
This might be the most difficult chapter that I have had to contemplate during the Alpha Lithos Theory writing project. In the first four chapters, my main goal was to poke a few possible holes in the mainstream (atheist) narrative about the age of the universe and how humans came to exist in our present form. If nothing else, what I was really trying to accomplish was for there to be some sort of admission or at least an acknowledgment from mainstream (atheist) science to admit that we don’t know everything and that there may be possibilities to explain the creation of the universe that don’t exactly fit into the secular narrative. One of my main attempts in this process was to show that modern humans (Homo sapiens) have always existed with a high level of intelligence and that assigning a descriptor like primitive to our ancestors is really just an attempt to make us seem superior. I am one hundred percent okay with saying that I don’t know something, but I am not convinced that most atheist scientists will do the same. True, most of my arguments in the first four chapters are tedious at best, ludicrous at worst, but when put under extreme scrutiny I think most of my arguments can at least hold some proverbial water. That is what brings us to this chapter, water, or more specifically the flood of Noah’s day described in Genesis. Try as I might, I cannot get my mind around or make any valid argument to contend against the atheist view of one man in particular that should play a prominent role for either side in this ongoing argument, Homo neanderthalensis.
Growing up around Chester, Illinois, and even living there for a short time during my childhood, I have always known about the most famous sailor of all time. Popeye. Yes, dear reader, I would put Popeye on my list over Vespucci, Columbus, Drake, Magellan, and even Noah. Why? Because I have a direct correlation to him, even if he is mythical in many respects. My grandparents Rabe (German Raven, namesake of my company) lived in Chester my entire life. I grew up hearing stories about Popeye, seeing his statue, and even winning a trophy once in a 10K race at the Popeye Picnic. E.C. Seger, the creator of Popeye, based his cartoon strip creation on a real man who lived in Chester. The real version of Popeye was a sailor, and according to legend was always looking for a scrap, thus the name Popeye (as in popped in the eye). What does this have to do with Noah, the flood, or Neanderthals you may be asking? Stay with me on this one, as I am planning on taking you on a trip around the proverbial world. Here's a funny story about how legends (or pieces of them) can travel. I was once doing a training for a group of women leaders for the Girl Scouts on the side of Mt. Hood in Oregon. I was doing a get-to-know-you game called two truths and a lie, in which the participants share three things (two truths and a lie) about themselves, and the others must sort out which fact is the truth. One of the ladies said one time when they were traveling across the country they stopped at a statue of Popeye and stole (broke off) Popeye's bronze pipe. When I told my grandpa this story years later, he said that it was big news that someone had taken the pipe. He thought that maybe there was even a reward for its return. It is funny sometimes how small the world is.
Unlike most children, I actually love spinach. I always have. I especially like the spinach dish my mom makes with onions and bacon. I don’t know if this is because of Popeye or some other inexplicable reason. The same cannot be said of peas, I despise peas in all incarnations. It is true that I envisioned myself eating spinach as a child and gaining superpowers of strength, speed and stamina just like Popeye. I especially loved when Popeye would suck the spinach through his pipe. My favorite illustration of his immediate strength was when he would have a battleship appear on his arms. He used this superpower to save the day, which included more often than not, rescuing his best gal Olive Oyl. To this day, I will still watch Popeye cartoons whenever they come on. It gives me a real sense of nostalgia and reminds me of a simpler time having fun with my grandparents and cousins.
Now, let me get to the point of what any of this has to do with my struggle to refute the atheist view of mankind or of a global flood six-thousand years ago that only eight people survived from. Discovered in the Neander Valley in Germany in 1856, Neanderthal 1 (the name of the first specimen discovered) brought some real problems into a young earth creation viewpoint. There were of course other discoveries of human like species along the way, several of them being forgeries, but the Neanderthal could not be dismissed as a hoax or as a narrative that atheist might be using to try and destroy a biblical worldview of an earth under seven-thousand years old. More than three hundred specimens of Neanderthals have been found, many with complete skeletons. To really muddy the waters of what Neanderthals were, after decoding the human genome, it is very clear the Homo sapiens interbred with them, as many people of European and Asian descent have Neanderthal DNA buried in their genes. These facts are not argued by either side, but when examined closely, only one side makes any logical sense.
The disagreement exists over what exactly Neanderthals were and more specifically, when they lived. One thing is clear, they were like us, but yet significantly different. It is estimated that a Neanderthal of a comparable height to a modern human would have twice the strength and twice the testosterone levels of modern men. When I was in school Neanderthals were depicted as brutish cavemen with a hunched over stature and possibly even covered in hair. A great deal more has been discovered, and we now understand that Neanderthals weren’t small in stature, hunched over and they created exquisite art, tools, and weapons. There are even some plausible theories that say Neanderthals might have even had a greater capacity for intelligence than modern humans.
The main problem that arises from these new discoveries is the problem it poses for Young Earth Creationists (YEC). The one piece of evidence from my childhood that has held true,is that they did in fact frequent and live in caves. Herein lies the problem, the caves they lived in and frequented are typically made from materials that YEC say were laid down by Noah’s flood. Specifically limestone and dolomite. Most of the caves the fossils have been found in are in the fashion of Karst Topography. Granted, Karst Topography can create caves fairly quickly, especially where high amounts of water are present, but the limestone would have to be formed before the erosion process could even happen. If none of this had happened before the flood, then we would have a really difficult time accounting for where the Neanderthals came from. Remember dear reader, according to the story only eight people survived and left the ark. In reality however, it was really only five viable reproductors, as Noah’s sons would have had the same genetic material as him and their mother, which would limit the possibility of some genetic changes or defects that could possibly account for the different genetic make-up of a Neanderthal. Why then do YEC have to claim that this is exactly what happened? The answer to that is quite simple, the caves in which their bones, tools, art, and weapons are found have zero evidence of global level flooding. A flood of that magnitude would leave behind easily interpretable evidence that water (flooding) had left behind. To add to that, the geological story told by YEC, says the caves themselves didn’t exist until after the flood. Do you see the problem here? We have a chicken vs. egg scenario. If Neanderthals lived and existed after the flood, we would have very clear evidence of this. In fact, all of the evidence points to them existing tens of thousands of years ago in cave systems that were already well established. I personally cannot find any argument with this no matter how hard I try. I am not writing or thinking about this from an uneducated or ill-informed perspective, I could not even begin to estimate the amount of time I have personally spent in caves. I know a tremendous amount about cave formations, geology, life and timelines. I find it very ironic that Ken Ham’s Ark theme park is located in Kentucky, which has the largest cave system in the United States.
Neanderthals simply do not fit into a YEC model. I have even heard apologists argue that maybe Neanderthals were the great hunters/warriors of old that were referenced in the early parts of the Bible, but I cannot logically make that connection. If they lived before the flood they would have been wiped out by the flood as there is no mention of a human analog being loaded on the ark. If they lived after the flood, that causes a real problem. That would suggest that eight (really five) humans walked off the ark, had children that somehow had their genetic material corrupted into the form of the Neanderthal, then they established themselves as highly revered hunters/warriors, then they simply vanished from the historical record until the mid-nineteenth century. When you write all of this out or even think through this explanation with purpose, it becomes absurd. Sometimes I see why atheists mock Christian apologists. You have to really make an effort to tie all of the timelines and information together in a coherent way to make a young earth plausible, but on the flip side you have to almost emit ALL of the physical evidence. I really hate that this is the case. However, what I hate even worse is that when I ask public school children how many of them have read the Bible, the number has dropped significantly since the full release of the internet and easily accessible devices. This isn’t just playing out in schools, many churches are being forced to downsize, lay off staff, or outright close their doors. It is almost as if the Biblical tales when told as literal interpretations offend people’s sensibilities.
Where does Popeye fit into all of this you may be wondering. If we did go the direction of the argument that Neanderthals were the great hunters/warriors of old, we would then have to ask the question if that was the case, why were they not the ones that continued on, with Homo sapiens being the ones that were either extirpated or extinct outright? You see in the old Popeye comics, he was just an ordinary man, with ordinary strength, oftentimes a bumbling fool that was almost always bested by Bluto. That is until he took in his magical spinach that gave him superhuman strength and abilities. He could do anything. His pipe could become a rocket and he could fly, he could stop bullets, he could run and jump high buildings in a single bound (Early to mid 20th Century people really had a fascination with Supermen). After all of the problems had passed, his spinach would wear off after he would win the day (and Olive Oyl) and he would become human again. One of the arguments that I have been trying to make during this entire philosophical writing project is that modern humans (Homo sapiens) have never changed since day one of existence. This would include physically as well, not just mentally (intellectually). Truth of the matter is, Neanderthals were much stronger and more capable in a physical sense (and maybe even a mental/thinking sense) than humans could ever be, even with spinach.
It was once thought that humans would never run under a five minute mile, then it happened. Then it was the four minute mile, then that happened. Right now, the world record for men is sitting in the high three-minute mark. I think it is proper to say that humans will never run under a three-minute mile. That would require running the entire mile faster than the current world record is for many of the shorter sprinting events. My point with this is that based on the current knowledge of human physiology, a human on the historical timeline could have performed these physical feats given the right amount of training and motivation. The same could be said of ancient or modern humans from an intellectual ability given the same parameters. The same limits of physical prowess could be placed on Olympic style weightlifting. Modern humans will eventually reach a point where there is a limit to how much can be lifted. Of course there is always cheating (steroids/spinach), but that is still a modern human doing modern human things. Neanderthals would still win in a lifting contest given the same conditions. They were built differently, because they were different. There is not a modern human being alive that would win a fist fight with a healthy Neanderthal. Their skulls were not the same as ours, they were much thicker to absorb blows and the lower center of gravity would have made it extremely difficult to knock them over. So what were they then? Where did they come from?
I played high school, college and professional baseball in the height of the steroid era. Nineteen-ninety-eight showed what anabolic steroids could do for modern human performance on a baseball field. Some of the homeruns hit that year by Mr. McGwire and Mr. Sosa still haven’t landed. Then a few years later Mr. Bonds comes along and breaks that record and sets the bar high enough that it will never be broken by a mortal man (a man not jacked up on Human Growth Hormone, Testosterone or any Anabolic Steroid.) Sure, the rules could change, but I am basing this premise on baseball staying the same as it was in old-timey days when the original record was set by Babe Ruth. The only thing he was fueled by was beer and hot dogs. Even Mr. Aaron cheated in some ways, as players of his days often used speed (“greenies”) to help them focus better and have faster reflexes. I was a borderline lower-level professional player back in my day. I played with many players that I knew were on some type of performance enhancing drug. I would have never done that as I truly enjoyed the fuel that I did use (meat and ice cream), but I do wonder from time to time if I would have used those substances if my career in professional baseball would have lasted longer than forty-eight hours.
No regrets, just saying human performance has limits. Some humans have more ability, some less, but we all fall on a continuum of physical ability that has limits. Limits that can be raised through chemistry, but after that stops and the spinach wears off, just human (oftentimes this usage comes with severe health issues). Here I am ranting again about something that may or may not have anything to do with the point I am trying to make. So let me sum up what I am trying to say. Many YEC apologists are forced to make the claim that Neanderthals were like modern humans (I guess in some respects that is correct as we were close enough genetically to breed with them) to try to fit them into a literal interpretation of Noah’s flood story. They can’t call them hoaxes or try to explain it away like that, there is simply too much evidence that they walked the earth. But they weren’t like us physically, they were much, much stronger, even without spinach or “roids.”
How do we know they were so much stronger? There are some really neat forensic tools that can be used to show muscular structure based on what the skeletal remains look like. These tools can even be used to show what a long since deceased person looked like. They can also examine things like bone density to determine hormone and nutrient levels. I have included a picture of this process being done on the skeletal remains of an Egyptian mummy. It is really fascinating. How do we know it is accurate to reconstruct remains like this? Many murders and crimes have been solved through facial and body reconstruction. It works. It shows us that Neanderthals looked similar to modern humans, but yet again very different.
So that begs the question, how can we explain the story of Noah’s Ark while having evidence as strong and resolute as Neanderthal remains? I don’t think we can. And, believe me, I have tried. For years, I have scoured museums, archeological sites, books, scholars and my own intellect (which might be the most significant of all these things) and I have come up with a blank.
I am still hung up on the idea of Noah’s Ark being so profound because of the mathematical properties of its dimensions and the other numbers associated with the story. I am not sure why we aren’t touting facts like this to the next generation of young Christians. After all, the width and height of the ark given in the Bible are of the five/thirds ratio (Yep, the Golden Ratio again) and the length of it being 300 cubits has a direct connection with Noah’s ancestors. I have read many arguments about what measurement was used for the cubit. Was it the Egyptian cubit, the Royal cubit, the Hebrew cubit? Who cares? The numbers in front of the word cubit are what I think are important. Enoch (Metatron?, see Chapter 2) lived EXACTLY three hundred after giving birth to Methusaleh (Noah’s grandfather). Coincidence? I think not. Three hundred was also used as the number of foxes that Samson caught and tied together and the number of silver pieces that were paid in the story of Jacob and Joseph. King Solomon had three hundred shields made of solid gold. Why was the ark three hundred cubits long? I don’t know, but clearly the number carried a great significance to the writer’s of the early Bible. Also, if we wanted to look at this profound number in an extra-Biblical story, the fabled King Leonidas had three-hundred Spartans to help him stop the Persians at Thermopylae (the Hot Gates). In reality, there were many more Greeks involved in that battle, but we remember the three-hundred because it was significant.
I have also seen apologists argue that the dimensions of the ark made it very seaworthy, even going so far as to demonstrate with scale modeling in a wave tank. This is completely missing the point, and is totally absurd. I have had ship models (toys) that were not even of the Golden Rectangle that I could not sink in my bathtub. Believe me, I tried for years. An all wooden ship of that size simply could not exist. Ships half that length of all wood built in the mid-nineteenth century simply could not survive. The only one that had any serviceable life (USS Wyoming) could only run coastal routes as it was too dangerous to venture into deeper water. Even then, for all the time, money and effort put into it, it only stayed afloat for a few years, and it was less than half the length of Noah’s ship. It also had a method of propulsion (power) which the ark completely lacked. Huge, modern ships of today, made almost entirely of high strength metal have floundered and broken in half during small storms (by comparison to what the global flood would have been) because they lost power and couldn’t get turned into oncoming waves.
The argument that also isn’t even being taken into consideration is what happened to the engineering that must have been lost after the flood? If Noah had this extreme ship building information and process, it was lost much like the Neanderthal, and no boats show up in the historical record at all that could even match a portion of the level of skill and refinement that the ark would have required until the mid-nineteenth century. I think ship engineers of today still couldn’t build a functional ship given the parameters in the Bible. The Ark amusement park cannot be used as any sort of proof that Noah’s Ark might have possible. It is built with modern tools, and remember, it is almost as far away from the sea as you could possibly place it on this continent. I do remember a guy in Europe many years ago trying to build a functional ark model, but we don’t hear much about it do we? Why? Because it didn’t work.
No my friend, the ark story isn’t about a flood, or water. It is about numbers and a promise of greatness from our Creator. As mentioned in the previous paragraph, the number three hundred seemed to carry great significance in the Bible. The number three hundred does have some fascinating characteristics. Such as: 300 is the product of 2 squared times 3 times 5 squared, with all three numbers in this sequence being primes (2,3,5) also three hundred is the sum of ten consecutive primes added together (13+17+19+23+29+31+37+41+43+47). The ancient writers certainly had a fascination with prime numbers and their properties. What exactly does this mean? I don’t know, but I will continue to look for the answers until my dying day.
Where does that leave me then in regards to this writing project. As much as I hate to admit it, I am defeated. This isn’t easy for me. To make matters worse, over the past two months, I have done something that I swore that I would never do, engage with someone on a social media platform. Specifically, YouTube. I don’t know why I did this, but one thing I have realized (or rather confirmed) is that it is nearly impossible to change a person’s mind when they are entrenched in their own dogma and beliefs. Now, I am not trying to get on my high horse here, but I would like to believe that if someone presents an argument or theory with some evidence to support their argument that I will change the way I previously thought about that topic. I will learn from the experience and hopefully grow intellectually from that encounter. I have always believed that I could make such a compelling argument that I could sway people one way or another with my rhetoric, but I am not so sure now. I was removed two separate times on YouTube for violating community guidelines by posting a rebuttal to a video on a channel. One of those times, it was only math formulas, and I was ridiculed for my ignorance by others on the channel. The other time I made a compelling argument to show that the current understanding of biological evolution could be re-interpreted another way. I was mocked and told that I was narrow minded, then simply removed because of what I had posted. Do you see what I am trying to say here? Mathematics is logos (logic) exemplified, no person should be able to argue with a statement like 2+1=3 (what I posted was much more complex than this, but essentially said the same thing), but yet they did it. Please don't think I am giving up after just two adverse interactions, I am not, I have much thicker proverbial skin than that. Also remember, I get some satisfaction out of arguments and conflict. No dear reader, this is a decision I have been weighing for many years. It is not mentally healthy for me to continue down this path. The cure for me has become worse than the disease. Sounds very familiar doesn’t it?
When I first set about the Alpha Lithos Theory, I wasn’t sure where it would take me (or you), or even how long I would keep writing chapters. In my professional and academic life, I have always tried to adhere to the Socratic Method (follow the argument where it leads), and this has opened many doors for me and allowed me to learn and discover things I never even knew that I wanted to know or could know. Unfortunately, the world in which I find myself doesn’t follow that same sentiment. This statement applies to both sides of the creation (YEC specifically) and atheism debate. Both are happy in their ignorance and do not want any information that counters their dogma or worldview. If you try to have a discussion or argument, you will just be shouted down as either an ignorant believer in a make-believe deity in the sky, or as a heathen/heretic. I will leave it up to you to decide which side says which thing. Spoiler alert, you will be right and wrong no matter which one you choose. I did intend this writing project to be fun and light-hearted and maybe not even taken seriously. I have always been a huge fan of satire, and maybe that is all this has been? I do know that I can’t stand bullies and that is the main reason why I posted on those YouTube channels. They were atheists who were mocking videos that Christians had posted. Though, to be fair, some of the videos that they were mocking do make Christians look kind of silly. Regardless, there was no call to mock someone who cannot defend themselves intellectually. However, herein lies the problem, I could put them to shame intellectually, but since they have the control, nothing I say makes any difference at all. I would love to get some of these people on a stage and debate them, but it will never happen. They are too confident and content in their own echo chamber. This goes for both sides of the argument.
Who knows? Maybe someone that was on the fence read my incoherent ramblings and was inspired to ask a few questions or do some thinking for themselves. If that is the case, then my theory holds true, humans are intelligent beings who can use reason and logic to interpret and understand this amazing creation we live in. I will call this writing project a success.
I hold to the viewpoint that the only way any religion can exist is to have complete freedom of thought and choice. This is especially true for Christianity. We must choose to accept what is offered, although the amount of grace and salvation that is offered is never ending. There are things that I have written in this blog that readers may have called into question my belief and adherence to God’s word. That was not my intention. In fact, writing out things like this makes my belief much stronger and drives me to learn more. If we truly say we have free thought and choice, then that must extend to our ability to ask questions or seek out any answers. Nothing in our amazing Creation should be off-limits, because believe me, to the atheist side nothing is off limits. If it makes any of the readers out in the interwebs that were worried about me or my belief in God feel any better, know that my mission is as clear now as ever. We were created uniquely by God, and He sent His Son as a living sacrifice for our eternal salvation. Reading the Biblical stories with either a literal, metaphorical or allegorical viewpoint does nothing to change this. There is no possible way for us to understand what this means or how exactly it works, but this is one of those times where it is OK to say we don’t know. Just accept it!
So what is next? I would love for any readers who would like to make a suggestion on a topic, or if you have a question send me an email (link on homepage of the website) or post a comment on this chapter. One thing I know is that I am going to stay off of others' social media from now on. There is simply nothing to be gained from it. Besides, I still hold firmly to that idea that the internet is just a fad that humanity will forget. Although, the mullet sure won’t die. Some fads might be eternal.
I would sincerely like to thank those of you who have followed me over the years. I will have another project in the near future. Right now, I am leaning towards a pure photo blog highlighting the amazing creation we exist in. Maybe that is more of what the world needs (more specifically, I need) is beauty, love and happiness. By my nature, I exist in a perpetual state of sarcasm and cynicism. If there is one thing that has come out of this project, it is the fact that I have realized that no amount of proof or reason one way or another will move the needle in turning people who don’t want to believe towards our Creator. Being negative, mean, or nihilistic makes it exponentially worse.
To be perfectly clear in conclusion, I do believe our Creator has made us a unique and special being. Designed to praise Him, to study, and enjoy our Universe. It is really hard to do that very thing when a person (me) is always looking for what is negative, broken, or missing. True, this has helped me in some of my career fields, specifically law enforcement and risk management, but the older I get, the more I realize that we should enjoy our time on earth to the fullest. I also know that if I can change my outlook in this way, not only will my family and immediate social circle enjoy being around me much more, but perhaps, just perhaps, that will be the thing that sways some random person’s worldview to our Creator.
Liebe Immer. Das Ende!
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